If Only…

..I were a tracker, instead of a slacker.

The last three weeks we’ve been on and off the plan, more often off than on. The weigh in results show that pretty clearly, especially this week.

Jenny: gained 2.4
Jason: gained 4.2

If you look back over the last several months you’ll see that Jenny has mostly done a great job with her weight loss as she’s consistently tracking (usually). For me, though, you’ll see that I haven’t done any serious weight loss for most of this year. Why? Well, I could list off any number of convenient little excuses like traveling for weeks at a time on business and holidays, and whatever dinky crap came to mind. But really, I haven’t done well this year because I’m a slacker.

Every single week that I had a loss, I can pull up my account online and see that I had tracked for at least part of the week. Every week that I lost 2 pounds or more, I tracked the whole week. We’ve said it before: if you follow the plan, you’ll find success.

I suck at following the plan, because I’m a slacker. I’m a slacker (in this case) because I’m good with numbers and I’m a creature of habit. With the old plan I could track everything in my head, calculating everything I added on the fly throughout the day and have no problems. Sure, I might forget a point or two here and there, but for the most part I didn’t need to bother tracking. With this new plan I can’t calculate things because I don’t know the formula. From the research I’ve done to find the formulas, even if I did know them they’re too complex for me to keep track of all the numbers for the final calculation in my head without really sitting down to think about them. I can’t just calculate it all right on the spot and go on. Giving up on that part made me give up on trying to track in my head, and habit keeps pushing me away from tracking at all because of that.

It’s not until you really stop to think about things like this that you really recognize just how big of a problem it is. I don’t mind when I have small gains because I’m not on a rush diet to lose as much weight as possible in the shortest amount of time, I’m changing my lifestyle so that I can be healthy for the rest of my life instead of only until the next time I crave pumpkin pie. But when I look back on the last six months of me slacking off and not doing much of anything with this weight loss, it really kind of pisses me off. What am I doing here? Am I actually trying to change something, or am I going through the motions and telling myself I’m doing a good thing when in fact I’m just a slacker?

I don’t even have to put any thought into that answer, I’m a friggin’ slacker. And you know what? I’m tired of being a slacker. I don’t need that crap holding me down. Tracking isn’t hard, it’s just a habit like any other; one that I haven’t taken seriously in a long time. I know I’ve said it before, that I’m going to get better at my tracking, and I probably did for about a week. But this time I’m not throwing around empty words.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Robyn Denise
    Jul 08, 2011 @ 08:23:30

    I use to be able to calculate points in my head as well with the old program… Luckily, I found a free iPhone app (I dont have WW online) that has a calculator and a tracker in it that I use all the time which helps out a lot.

    All the best getting back on track!

    Reply

    • Psynister
      Jul 08, 2011 @ 08:31:05

      I have a calculator app, an actual calculator, the online tools and the WW tracking app. I’ve got all the tools I need, right there in my pocket wherever I go, but I’m not in the habit of using them and I don’t really like using them compared to a regular computer so when I do think to use them I put it off and tell myself I’ll do it when I get back to the office. But once I get back? /forgotten

      Reply

  2. Elizabeth McLatchy
    Jul 15, 2011 @ 09:43:43

    So I went to church w/ my mom in UT and read your blog. Lesson in church about loving self, feeling like I can… You know; all that y’all blog about. Result of the two. Lost 5 lbs. Am I counting points? No. Just not kicking myself for a brownie and thus not consoling myself with another. Be willing to change, but be kind to self. You two are AMAZING!

    Reply

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